So the Ministry of Education in Ontario released this memo in December 2011.
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/general/elemsec/speced/2011CategoryException.pdf
The things that it states are really straightforward - many outside Special Education will read it and be left wondering - "This required a memo?" after all, of course ADHD and Tourette's and other disorder/conditions can have an impact on a child's learning. And if a child is experiencing challenges in the classroom we would move to put things in place to help that child - right?
Well, until this memo (and let's face it, long after this memo), many schools and school boards were denying kids IEP's (Individual Education Plans) - sighting that the child did not meet the criteria set out by the Ministry in the form of five categories (Behaviour, Communication, Intellectual, Physical, and Multiple). They argue that ADHD, for example, does not fit into the above classifications and thus they were not obligated to provide special education services for a child only diagnosed with ADHD (the emphasis on "only" is a sarcastic one because if you have a child with ADHD you know what your child requires to learn and often times it is above and beyond what is in place for them).
But this memo changes that. Or at least it would seem.
I'm eager to see what the schools do in response as parents begin to bring forward this memo and ask that their child be accomodated for his or her unique learning needs. Of course I would suggest that families use this memo to start a collaborative dialogue rather than an "see, I TOLD YOU SO", "in your face" kind of situation.
For our youngest, nothing changes as the school has been AMAZING at putting things in place even though he only has an ADHD diagnosis (once again an attempt at sarcasm).
If this affects you I hope you will leave a comment. I'd love to know if you are able to use the memo to advocate for your child.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Our Journey with Sensory Issues - Part One
I was asked by someone to describe our experience with sensory issues and I figured I would post it here since I have been meaning to write this for quite some time.
In Canada, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), are not as well known as they are in the United States. Add to that neither one is listed in the DSM-IV (the diagnostic manual a.k.a. 'the bible' for diagnosticians, covers all mental health disorders for children and adults) and it makes it difficult to get 'professionals' to take you seriously and give you and your child the help you seek.
If you have reached this point and are all "What in the world is this chick talking about?" - well, I could try to go into detail about SID (I'll refer to it as this since it is what is written in the reports that we do have which actually reference a sensory diagnosis for our son) but really there is a vast wealth of information at Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation (U.S. based) as well as Hartley's Life with 3 Boys (a website and blog of a mom focused on SPD). So please do go to those sites but don't forget to come back here.
When we adopted C he was three and a half years old. I was (and had been for quite some time) working in early intervention. I had read up quite a bit on sensory issues and techniques for children I provided service to. Information was fairly scarce but luckily we had the book The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz and Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
Amazingly with all that personal knowledge and resources right in front of me - it took a while to put it all together that many of the issues we were dealing with individually added up to sensory integration disorder. Much of it looked like something else (like ADHD) and our days were such frenetic world winds that reading a book or trying to make a plan was far from my grasp. He seemed to be a sensory seeker AND avoider. Loud noises like the vacuum or hairdryer seemed to actually be painful to him and he would cry and beg me not to turn them on. It took us a few months to realize part of the reason he would act out while shopping would be that he needed to use the washroom but hated the toilets and hand dryers in most stores so he would act out so we would take him home. He hated tags in his clothes and it would take him months to adjust to wearing pants and socks when the weather turned cold. He didn't like hugs or tickling and just touching him on the arm made him recoil and even sometimes yell out "YOU'RE HURTING ME", which was always so much fun in the middle of a store or parking lot. But he would also run into people and bounce off them, never seemed to register pain and never seemed to get dizzy.
On one occasion early in our adoption - he fell off the top of the monkey bars and landed on his face before I could catch him (he had poor protective reactions as well). As I rushed over to him I could only imagine what damage had been done - he stood up and caught his breath and much to my amazement just resumed his activities. We soon learned that he would only stop and register pain was when it was accompanied by blood - even then we weren't sure he was actually registering the pain but rather the visual let him know he should be in pain and he would act accordingly.
At school he was constantly roaming the room, touching things and people. He licked things and put things in his mouth when he should have outgrown that behaviour at a much younger age. He had his fingers in his mouth so much that for most of Junior Kindergarten he wore thin gloves to try to help his red and raw fingers heal. He never seemed aware of where his body was in space resulting in huge issues particularly when lining up at school (which you do a lot of as a Kindergartner). You can imagine that kind of behaviour wreaks havoc in a classroom with even the most experienced and understanding of teachers.
Those early years were hard. We were discharged early from preschool services (long story for another day) and the next step services were saying they had nothing to offer us. School Health Support Services who provide Occupational Therapy to school children were very clear that they would only look at fine motor and daily living skills (like dressing, eating) and they would not provide any sensory therapy or assessment. Without more published studies and Evidence Based Practice, Sensory Integration Disorder (also called Sensory Processing Disorder) was not seen as "legitimate" in our community. I tried to find a private practitioner but at that time came up empty handed.
So we trudged along on our own - piecing some parts of the puzzle together on our own. I did figure out that deep pressure seemed to calm him and he began to allow us to give him "Big squeezy hugs" (bear hugs) that typically resulted in visible calming of his whole body at least for a few minutes. We kept a supply of "real fruit" fruit snacks on hand to reduce the need to chew on his fingers or mouth non-food items. He couldn't seem to get the hang of chewing gum (and still can't without swallowing it) so we probably looked like we were training a family pet - constantly pulling out a fruit snack out of our pocket and popping it in his mouth.
In late 2005 we were finally seen at the Child and Parent Resource Institute (CPRI) in London Ontario regarding C's Tourette Syndrome. As part of the overall treatment plan created with us during our first visit to CPRI, C was referred for Occupational Therapy for both fine motor issues and a sensory assessment. In August 2006 we began the OT assessment and to this date it was one of the most helpful, eye opening services that we have received as a family.
To Be Continued . . . . Part Two will be up soon: How Does Your Engine Run?
In Canada, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), are not as well known as they are in the United States. Add to that neither one is listed in the DSM-IV (the diagnostic manual a.k.a. 'the bible' for diagnosticians, covers all mental health disorders for children and adults) and it makes it difficult to get 'professionals' to take you seriously and give you and your child the help you seek.
If you have reached this point and are all "What in the world is this chick talking about?" - well, I could try to go into detail about SID (I'll refer to it as this since it is what is written in the reports that we do have which actually reference a sensory diagnosis for our son) but really there is a vast wealth of information at Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation (U.S. based) as well as Hartley's Life with 3 Boys (a website and blog of a mom focused on SPD). So please do go to those sites but don't forget to come back here.
When we adopted C he was three and a half years old. I was (and had been for quite some time) working in early intervention. I had read up quite a bit on sensory issues and techniques for children I provided service to. Information was fairly scarce but luckily we had the book The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz and Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
Amazingly with all that personal knowledge and resources right in front of me - it took a while to put it all together that many of the issues we were dealing with individually added up to sensory integration disorder. Much of it looked like something else (like ADHD) and our days were such frenetic world winds that reading a book or trying to make a plan was far from my grasp. He seemed to be a sensory seeker AND avoider. Loud noises like the vacuum or hairdryer seemed to actually be painful to him and he would cry and beg me not to turn them on. It took us a few months to realize part of the reason he would act out while shopping would be that he needed to use the washroom but hated the toilets and hand dryers in most stores so he would act out so we would take him home. He hated tags in his clothes and it would take him months to adjust to wearing pants and socks when the weather turned cold. He didn't like hugs or tickling and just touching him on the arm made him recoil and even sometimes yell out "YOU'RE HURTING ME", which was always so much fun in the middle of a store or parking lot. But he would also run into people and bounce off them, never seemed to register pain and never seemed to get dizzy.
On one occasion early in our adoption - he fell off the top of the monkey bars and landed on his face before I could catch him (he had poor protective reactions as well). As I rushed over to him I could only imagine what damage had been done - he stood up and caught his breath and much to my amazement just resumed his activities. We soon learned that he would only stop and register pain was when it was accompanied by blood - even then we weren't sure he was actually registering the pain but rather the visual let him know he should be in pain and he would act accordingly.
At school he was constantly roaming the room, touching things and people. He licked things and put things in his mouth when he should have outgrown that behaviour at a much younger age. He had his fingers in his mouth so much that for most of Junior Kindergarten he wore thin gloves to try to help his red and raw fingers heal. He never seemed aware of where his body was in space resulting in huge issues particularly when lining up at school (which you do a lot of as a Kindergartner). You can imagine that kind of behaviour wreaks havoc in a classroom with even the most experienced and understanding of teachers.
Those early years were hard. We were discharged early from preschool services (long story for another day) and the next step services were saying they had nothing to offer us. School Health Support Services who provide Occupational Therapy to school children were very clear that they would only look at fine motor and daily living skills (like dressing, eating) and they would not provide any sensory therapy or assessment. Without more published studies and Evidence Based Practice, Sensory Integration Disorder (also called Sensory Processing Disorder) was not seen as "legitimate" in our community. I tried to find a private practitioner but at that time came up empty handed.
So we trudged along on our own - piecing some parts of the puzzle together on our own. I did figure out that deep pressure seemed to calm him and he began to allow us to give him "Big squeezy hugs" (bear hugs) that typically resulted in visible calming of his whole body at least for a few minutes. We kept a supply of "real fruit" fruit snacks on hand to reduce the need to chew on his fingers or mouth non-food items. He couldn't seem to get the hang of chewing gum (and still can't without swallowing it) so we probably looked like we were training a family pet - constantly pulling out a fruit snack out of our pocket and popping it in his mouth.
In late 2005 we were finally seen at the Child and Parent Resource Institute (CPRI) in London Ontario regarding C's Tourette Syndrome. As part of the overall treatment plan created with us during our first visit to CPRI, C was referred for Occupational Therapy for both fine motor issues and a sensory assessment. In August 2006 we began the OT assessment and to this date it was one of the most helpful, eye opening services that we have received as a family.
To Be Continued . . . . Part Two will be up soon: How Does Your Engine Run?
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Therefore I Share
Mental Illness is nothing to be ashamed of.
It is not the fault of the person dealing with it.
It is hard for all involved. The individual, family, friends . . .
Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of
How many times have I said that in real life, on Facebook, on my blog?
I tell my son this all the time. I tell him that his Bi-Polar and OCD and other illness/disorders are a pesky part of him but they do not define him and they do not make him less of a person. I tell him that he is my hero - having so much on his plate yet getting up each day with a smile on his face. And when it is a bad day (or week) I tell him that's ok too. He's entitled. Eventually he will get up again after we help him fight off the demons that haunt him in his head.
Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.
Just like people are not ashamed of cancer. People are a lot of things at Cancer - scared, mad, frustrated, devastated, determined to name a few. But people are not ashamed of cancer.
I suffer from depression and anxiety. It's been mostly under control for many years now but you can read a little about previous times I was struggling here and here and also here.
A few weeks ago it got really bad really fast. It seemed to hit me out of no where. My brave and amazing husband and friends made sure that I got to the hospital. I stayed for 3 weeks. While I was there I was almost successful in hanging myself with a sheet. Yes it was that bad. I was not myself. I was over run with irrational thoughts and overwhelming emotions. I thought the world would be better without me. I thought that my pain, that feeling of deep emptiness, would finally be gone if I was dead. I felt so very very desperate.
I was and still am battling a mental illness. I probably always will in some way.
I share this because I need to not be ashamed. I cannot teach my son and society to accept mental illness if I am ashamed and keep this as a secret. Therefore I share.
It is not the fault of the person dealing with it.
It is hard for all involved. The individual, family, friends . . .
Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of
How many times have I said that in real life, on Facebook, on my blog?
I tell my son this all the time. I tell him that his Bi-Polar and OCD and other illness/disorders are a pesky part of him but they do not define him and they do not make him less of a person. I tell him that he is my hero - having so much on his plate yet getting up each day with a smile on his face. And when it is a bad day (or week) I tell him that's ok too. He's entitled. Eventually he will get up again after we help him fight off the demons that haunt him in his head.
Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.
Just like people are not ashamed of cancer. People are a lot of things at Cancer - scared, mad, frustrated, devastated, determined to name a few. But people are not ashamed of cancer.
I suffer from depression and anxiety. It's been mostly under control for many years now but you can read a little about previous times I was struggling here and here and also here.
A few weeks ago it got really bad really fast. It seemed to hit me out of no where. My brave and amazing husband and friends made sure that I got to the hospital. I stayed for 3 weeks. While I was there I was almost successful in hanging myself with a sheet. Yes it was that bad. I was not myself. I was over run with irrational thoughts and overwhelming emotions. I thought the world would be better without me. I thought that my pain, that feeling of deep emptiness, would finally be gone if I was dead. I felt so very very desperate.
I was and still am battling a mental illness. I probably always will in some way.
I share this because I need to not be ashamed. I cannot teach my son and society to accept mental illness if I am ashamed and keep this as a secret. Therefore I share.
Friday, December 02, 2011
Celebrating the "lasts"
My youngest, J, is very aware and although he is very affectionate at home he long ago stopped letting me hug and kiss him in front of the school.
Today he came out and was excited to tell me about the play his class is putting on. Like it was the most natural thing in the world he slipped his hand into mine. I realized almost immediately it felt almost foreign. When was the last time I had held his hand?
I almost said something in the heat of the moment. But I quieted myself and tried to enjoy the brief walk home. Wondering at what moment he would realize what he was doing and slip his hand away. We made it to the bottom of the driveway with his hand lovingly in mine.
I willed myself to enjoy every moment, just in case. You never know when it might be a "last"
Friday, November 25, 2011
Injustices and being complicit
I often work hard to make sure I don't waste time on guilt . . . I lump it with regret, a natural human emotion but not very helpful or productive. I prefer to try to be forward thinking, spending my limited resources on finding solutions and making change for the better instead.
With that said, I am overwhelmed with guilt, remorse, regret and deep seeded anguish over what has happened to my son and what is happening to hundreds of other children in my home community at the hands of treatment centres. I hope to be able to make changes and I have removed my son from that environment. A newspaper story about one of the treatment centres in town has brought it all to the forefront today.
I grapple with what I will do. Do I go forward with our own story of the other agency, who from the description of the agency in the paper is doing even WORSE things??? If I do it puts my family at risk in ways I cannot go into on this blog. But I have to do something.
Years ago I bore witness to many injustices to vulnerable people at a place of employment. I took small stands back then but my complicity still haunts me to this day.
I will have to do something moving forward - for all those children whose parents don't know or who don't have parents. I'm just not sure how to proceed at this time.
With that said, I am overwhelmed with guilt, remorse, regret and deep seeded anguish over what has happened to my son and what is happening to hundreds of other children in my home community at the hands of treatment centres. I hope to be able to make changes and I have removed my son from that environment. A newspaper story about one of the treatment centres in town has brought it all to the forefront today.
I grapple with what I will do. Do I go forward with our own story of the other agency, who from the description of the agency in the paper is doing even WORSE things??? If I do it puts my family at risk in ways I cannot go into on this blog. But I have to do something.
Years ago I bore witness to many injustices to vulnerable people at a place of employment. I took small stands back then but my complicity still haunts me to this day.
I will have to do something moving forward - for all those children whose parents don't know or who don't have parents. I'm just not sure how to proceed at this time.
Monday, November 21, 2011
It's All Too Much
I know I haven't been posting lately, but does the old adage - "no news is good news ring true"? Yes, No, I'm not really sure.
The boys themselves are doing well. I'd even go so far as to say the are flourishing
Me, not so much.
I'm in a deep dark confusing and often lonely place.
But I am getting help. I am reaching out and trying to let people in. I have sought professional intervention.
I so badly want to write and to pour out my heart and soul but it just isn't meant to be at this moment.
But I'm still here and that counts for a lot right now
The boys themselves are doing well. I'd even go so far as to say the are flourishing
Me, not so much.
I'm in a deep dark confusing and often lonely place.
But I am getting help. I am reaching out and trying to let people in. I have sought professional intervention.
I so badly want to write and to pour out my heart and soul but it just isn't meant to be at this moment.
But I'm still here and that counts for a lot right now
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Cue the Music
School in our part of Southwestern Ontario (Canada) starts next week.
Cue scary shark music ending in a shrill shriek
But wait . . . Usually by now I am saying hourly prayers under my breath and wishing desperately that I had a vice that would get me through the last few days of summer vacation while AT THE SAME TIME wanting nothing more than to curl up in the fetal position in a dark room in order to get away from the impending doom that is school for my boys.
This year . . . I posted a thank you to summer in my Face Book status. I posted lots of awesome pics here on my blog. Sure there have been bumps in the road this summer. A few were pretty significant and usually would have brought me to my knees. But this year - we are all managing.
Last night I went across the border to do some shopping with my very good friend and we stopped at the Olive Garden (which we no longer have in our home town, sigh) to absolutely stuff ourselves eat and enjoy each others company on this rare ocassion for as long as possible. Amidst fits of uncontrollable giggles that left my stomach hurting and tears running down my face - we commiserated. We talked about school and what we were doing to prepare for this year as all four of our boys have unique learning challenges at school.
I admitted to her that I haven't done any of the information packages and personal introduction letters to the teachers that I usually have ready in July (lol). I just yesterday had a brief conversation with C's teacher to book a quick visit to school on Friday to ease his anxiety because I figured that was the one thing I can't skip this year.
At that moment I paused from stuffing my face and I said to my good friend "you know, I've given enough of my time, energy, emotions, tears and effort to school. I think I'm done with that for now".
And I meant it.
C is going to have a very strict and loud teacher this year.
I could choose to try and fight his class placement. I could try to get him moved. I could write letters, make calls, write emails, vent on Facebook and call upon all my advocate friends.
I could stay up til the wee hours tonight typing and cutting and pasting and printing and colating information, all the while trying not to be resentful or sad that there would be a strong possibility that the teacher wouldn't so much as crack the front cover on my carefully chosen duotang.
I could find myself lying in the bed, late at night, unable to sleep as I worry about the fact that this Grade 8 for C and he is woefully behind in using his laptop. That he struggles so hard to fit in and might feel rejected and isolated. That next year is highschool and . . . . .
but I stopped myself
I am going to choose instead to be believe that after all these years the people at his school know him and are competent. I am going to believe that C has come so far that he can continue some of the self advocacy that he has demonstrated previously. I am going to believe that the people (peers and teachers) that we know and trust and who know and love our son will look out for him and let me know if something is amiss (as they have in the past). I am going to trust that the Principal and last years teacher chose his class placement for very good reasons and that they have everyone's best interests at heart.
I am going to choose to let go a little. I am going to trust what we have worked so hard to create to do its thang.
And I am resolute in my knowledge that should there be bumps in the road - I know how to handle them. I am bigger and stronger than any of those situations and I am supported by many many people who are also bigger and stronger and we will close ranks around C and help him, and the school, through anything that the universe throws our way.
We have done it before. We can do it again, but only if necessary
Because in the meantime - I plan to keep living and loving my life and doing things like canning 8 dozen jars of spaggetti sauce with a good friend that I just don't see enough of.
I will let some of our hard work do its magic while I dance and live off to the side
Cue party music
Cue scary shark music ending in a shrill shriek
But wait . . . Usually by now I am saying hourly prayers under my breath and wishing desperately that I had a vice that would get me through the last few days of summer vacation while AT THE SAME TIME wanting nothing more than to curl up in the fetal position in a dark room in order to get away from the impending doom that is school for my boys.
This year . . . I posted a thank you to summer in my Face Book status. I posted lots of awesome pics here on my blog. Sure there have been bumps in the road this summer. A few were pretty significant and usually would have brought me to my knees. But this year - we are all managing.
Last night I went across the border to do some shopping with my very good friend and we stopped at the Olive Garden (which we no longer have in our home town, sigh) to
I admitted to her that I haven't done any of the information packages and personal introduction letters to the teachers that I usually have ready in July (lol). I just yesterday had a brief conversation with C's teacher to book a quick visit to school on Friday to ease his anxiety because I figured that was the one thing I can't skip this year.
At that moment I paused from stuffing my face and I said to my good friend "you know, I've given enough of my time, energy, emotions, tears and effort to school. I think I'm done with that for now".
And I meant it.
C is going to have a very strict and loud teacher this year.
I could choose to try and fight his class placement. I could try to get him moved. I could write letters, make calls, write emails, vent on Facebook and call upon all my advocate friends.
I could stay up til the wee hours tonight typing and cutting and pasting and printing and colating information, all the while trying not to be resentful or sad that there would be a strong possibility that the teacher wouldn't so much as crack the front cover on my carefully chosen duotang.
I could find myself lying in the bed, late at night, unable to sleep as I worry about the fact that this Grade 8 for C and he is woefully behind in using his laptop. That he struggles so hard to fit in and might feel rejected and isolated. That next year is highschool and . . . . .
but I stopped myself
I am going to choose instead to be believe that after all these years the people at his school know him and are competent. I am going to believe that C has come so far that he can continue some of the self advocacy that he has demonstrated previously. I am going to believe that the people (peers and teachers) that we know and trust and who know and love our son will look out for him and let me know if something is amiss (as they have in the past). I am going to trust that the Principal and last years teacher chose his class placement for very good reasons and that they have everyone's best interests at heart.
I am going to choose to let go a little. I am going to trust what we have worked so hard to create to do its thang.
And I am resolute in my knowledge that should there be bumps in the road - I know how to handle them. I am bigger and stronger than any of those situations and I am supported by many many people who are also bigger and stronger and we will close ranks around C and help him, and the school, through anything that the universe throws our way.
We have done it before. We can do it again, but only if necessary
Because in the meantime - I plan to keep living and loving my life and doing things like canning 8 dozen jars of spaggetti sauce with a good friend that I just don't see enough of.
I will let some of our hard work do its magic while I dance and live off to the side
Cue party music
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
It is the 27th AGAIN!!!
I really didn't think I would have it in me to get to my post for Hopeful Parents.
It's summer and things are of course hectic and overwhelming
But this year there are more laughing fits than crying fits
More meeting up with friends than cancelling plans
More crossing off the "to do" list than ever before
So it feels good that despite all this, or perhaps more so it has been inspired by all this,
I was able to make my Hopeful Parents post
If you have a minute, head on over to Hopeful Parents and check out the rest of it
It's summer and things are of course hectic and overwhelming
But this year there are more laughing fits than crying fits
More meeting up with friends than cancelling plans
More crossing off the "to do" list than ever before
So it feels good that despite all this, or perhaps more so it has been inspired by all this,
I was able to make my Hopeful Parents post
If you have a minute, head on over to Hopeful Parents and check out the rest of it
Monday, August 22, 2011
In an Instant
At 4:30p.m. yesterday my cell phone rang
Call display told me it was my parents
My heart sank
They never call my cell phone
I answered and I could barely hear my mother over the static and what I then realized were her sobs
I tried to steal myself for what might come next
And all I heard was Tornado
Photo from London Free Press
A Tornado ripped through Goderich, a gorgeous town dubbed "Canada's Prettiest Town"
Pretty much the entire downtown, known as "The Square" has been decimated
This was all just a few blocks away from my parents
Thankfully my parents have only suffered minor damage to their home
One man is dead and many others injured. My thoughts and prayers are with this man's family and with the entire town as they begin to take in the devastation that has occurred around them.
When you look at the pictures it is amazing that there weren't more casualties
In an instant life can change
Call display told me it was my parents
My heart sank
They never call my cell phone
I answered and I could barely hear my mother over the static and what I then realized were her sobs
I tried to steal myself for what might come next
And all I heard was Tornado
A Tornado ripped through Goderich, a gorgeous town dubbed "Canada's Prettiest Town"
Pretty much the entire downtown, known as "The Square" has been decimated
This was all just a few blocks away from my parents
Thankfully my parents have only suffered minor damage to their home
One man is dead and many others injured. My thoughts and prayers are with this man's family and with the entire town as they begin to take in the devastation that has occurred around them.
When you look at the pictures it is amazing that there weren't more casualties
In an instant life can change
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Part Boy, Part Monkey
J has always loved to climb. When he was 20 months old we had to take him out of his crib after one early morning when we heard a THUD and C, who was about 8 at the time, exclaimed "Wow. That was just like a cat!!!". Seems J climbed the rails, perched at the top and then jumped and landed on all fours, like a cat.
We went to Parent and Tot gymnastics and he climbed anything and everything. He was just like a monkey.
All of our windows and door jams have fingerprints, we even have an insane amount of fingerprints on the ceiling. His favourite place to hang out is at the top of a doorway.
At 2 years old I got lectured repeatedly by emergency personnel after J got away from me at an Adoption Family picnic, of all places, and he bolted right for the HUGE playground structure that probably wasn't really safe for any kid under 7. Even though I hightailed it after him, he managed to get to the top and pitch himself over the side (while trying to get on the slide). He landed on his face before I even got to the edge of the playground. Miraculously, he was fine. And to think he didn't even start walking until he was 18 months old.
At 3 years old his gymnastics teacher let the kids all have a turn trying to climb the rope. Most kids didn't even really make it off the ground despite some big efforts. Then it was J's turn. The rope went up to the ceiling - and that's high in this building that is basically an airplane hanger in size so you can imagine how high up the ceiling is. J climbed to the TOP. At first everyone was shocked and impressed. Then reality sunk in - he had gotten up but he had NO IDEA how to get down and he had climbed up using his bare hands. Let's just say his hands were very sore for many days but that didn't stop him from asking to do it again, sigh.
Thankfully he's always ok and he is surprisingly agile and strong. We took a break from gymnastics but I hope he will want to go back - he can do a mean hand stand and I'd love for him to learn how to do a proper (safe) back flip.
As much as we might gasp, hold our breaths and worry at times. It is certainly a gift that he has. And I'm a little jealous ;-)
![]()
![]()
![]()
We went to Parent and Tot gymnastics and he climbed anything and everything. He was just like a monkey.
As much as we might gasp, hold our breaths and worry at times. It is certainly a gift that he has. And I'm a little jealous ;-)
Loading image
Click anywhere to cancel
Image unavailable
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Gets Me Everytime
He sits answering the serious questions
then actually asks if he can type the answers himself
quickly asking for help on how to spell words
I sit with my back to him, facing the other people - trying to make it seem less like he has an audience (not that we are kidding anyone - there are 5 adults in the room)
He gives an answer that ends in "balls"
He starts to giggle
The 12 year old boy in him just can't help it
He repeats it a few times, changing some of the other words but always adding "balls", pausing to look around to see our reactions
I keep my back to him
But my shoulders shaking from my laughter give me away
Apparently I too am a 12 year old boy
It's not his words, it's that giggle from the depths of his soul - the one we heard the first day we met him at age 3.5. It swooped in and stole my heart that day as it does today. I can be the stone faced mom under any other circumstance but that giggle
it gets me every time
then actually asks if he can type the answers himself
quickly asking for help on how to spell words
I sit with my back to him, facing the other people - trying to make it seem less like he has an audience (not that we are kidding anyone - there are 5 adults in the room)
He gives an answer that ends in "balls"
He starts to giggle
The 12 year old boy in him just can't help it
He repeats it a few times, changing some of the other words but always adding "balls", pausing to look around to see our reactions
I keep my back to him
But my shoulders shaking from my laughter give me away
Apparently I too am a 12 year old boy
It's not his words, it's that giggle from the depths of his soul - the one we heard the first day we met him at age 3.5. It swooped in and stole my heart that day as it does today. I can be the stone faced mom under any other circumstance but that giggle
it gets me every time
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunshine and Rainbows
We just returned from two glorious weeks at a cottage.
I never thought I would type a sentence like that one (at least not unless it was a work of fiction).
In one sentence I wrote two weeks + cottage + we = glorious
I never thought I would type a sentence like that one (at least not unless it was a work of fiction).
In one sentence I wrote two weeks + cottage + we = glorious
Read the rest over at Hopeful Parents
Friday, June 24, 2011
Changes
Please bare with me as I try to update the look of my blog. Of course I started tinkering with it when I really don't have the time and it's not even in the top 50 items on my "to-do" list. However I just found out (kind of) how to add pictures to the top header so I started playing with it.
My amazing husband has taken C with him to visit his mother for the weekend. J is at sleepaway camp (another post) so I have the house to myself for the weekend. Interspersed with lots of cleaning and organizing will be spending time with friends as well as meeting with my (very part-time) employer to pick up some contract work that will hopefully help pay for our family vacation this year - which we desperately need.
I'll be back.
Don't leave me over the colour combos and blurry picture on my blog - please? lol
My amazing husband has taken C with him to visit his mother for the weekend. J is at sleepaway camp (another post) so I have the house to myself for the weekend. Interspersed with lots of cleaning and organizing will be spending time with friends as well as meeting with my (very part-time) employer to pick up some contract work that will hopefully help pay for our family vacation this year - which we desperately need.
I'll be back.
Don't leave me over the colour combos and blurry picture on my blog - please? lol
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Silver Lining
Many of my friends joke about my propensity to always see the silver lining in stressful times. In my early adult years I saw it as a gift, after years of extreme parenting I see it as an absolute necessity.
I find it amusing that I can go through REALLY stressful and rough times, particularly when C is in a manic phase and surprisingly I am easily able to keep myself motivated and upbeat through much of it. I can acknowledge that it is stressful, it sucks and that I am eager for it to end BUT I also have no problems seeing the silver linings.
Then there are days like yesterday and today. Yesterday I woke up late since neither mine nor A's alarms went off. In 18 years that has NEVER happened. But we still woke up in time for everyone to get ready for school. Everyone else coped - even our boy with a strong, strong need for routine and structure. Everyone else left the house on time and with a smile. Not me. I dragged. I had missed my shower, I was behind on my own routine and I just couldn't seem to get back on track. I was just about tohop drag my butt into the shower when the phone rang. It was the school (and yes I considered not answering) and C was not feeling well. So I had to drag my stanky self down to the school after racing to brush my teeth, comb my bird nest hair and throw on deodorant and clothes (aren't you glad, reading that, that I completed ALL of those VERY necessary steps before leaving my house?).
On the way to the school I noticed my one sandal was flopping around on my foot. But I didn't have time to stop and inspect. So I continued on, trying not to trip over my own feet. Got C home and had to argue about why I wasn't going to let him watch a movie now that he was home. I still hadn't eaten and then the phone calls and emails started coming in. There is finally movement with regard to funding and C's supports and getting this all sorted with his new provider and of course it all needs to be organized and carefully orchestrated and although I TRIED to stay out of it, in the end, there were just pieces I had to take care of if I didn't want to have to deal with a bigger fall out later. So I just kept breathing and made the calls and sent off emails all the while redirecting C. Thankfully his amazing support worker was due at 10 so that helped immensely.
Then I got a call I needed to have some papers in for funding reimbursement and oh did I mention that we are in the midst of a postal worker lock out?? So I can't mail the forms and the office isn't local and the only other option is fax. I asked if I could scan and send an electronic PDF (much more appropriate for the year 2011) but was told no. So I had to have A come home at lunch to get the forms to fax from work for me, which was ok because he had also forgotten the lunch that I had made him at the expense of having my shower.
I then discovered that the problem with my shoe was that I had let C wear them (please note - they are a man's sandal I bought cause they fit my wide feet wonderfully) because he grew YET AGAIN and did not have sandals at the time. Of course he didn't tell me he ripped the strap right out of the sole. sigh.
Then I tried to sort out pharmacy woes. Well really it is not the pharmacies issue AT ALL. They are awesome. It's all because the boys are going to camp and the restrictions on meds like Concerta and the fact that we couldn't order more til today (oh reminder to go to pharmacy) and C's meds are not all on the same schedule because of various med changes over the past year so its a nightmare right now that just haven't had time to sort. Add to that I have misplaced a prescription for a different med. ahhhhhhhhhh!
Then I went to get J at school at the end of the day, still not having had a chance to shower and while there a bird shit on me!!!!!!
The evening was slightly better
Then this morning I was supposed to head out of town for a meeting. I got up on time, I showered, I had everyone ready and out the door. Went to leave and .. . . .
I have no house key
I messed up - left it for someone last week that stayed with my kid. That person took it with them and I did remember to ask for it back for forgot to follow up.
I can't leave my door unlocked of course and to have A come home would have taken to long as I have JUST enough time to get to this meeting IF I leave right when the kids leave for school.
So silver lining to all of this - I don't have to spend 4 hours in the car today and everyone thinks I am out of town at a meeting so I should be able to get lots of things accomplished.
I find it amusing that I can go through REALLY stressful and rough times, particularly when C is in a manic phase and surprisingly I am easily able to keep myself motivated and upbeat through much of it. I can acknowledge that it is stressful, it sucks and that I am eager for it to end BUT I also have no problems seeing the silver linings.
Then there are days like yesterday and today. Yesterday I woke up late since neither mine nor A's alarms went off. In 18 years that has NEVER happened. But we still woke up in time for everyone to get ready for school. Everyone else coped - even our boy with a strong, strong need for routine and structure. Everyone else left the house on time and with a smile. Not me. I dragged. I had missed my shower, I was behind on my own routine and I just couldn't seem to get back on track. I was just about to
On the way to the school I noticed my one sandal was flopping around on my foot. But I didn't have time to stop and inspect. So I continued on, trying not to trip over my own feet. Got C home and had to argue about why I wasn't going to let him watch a movie now that he was home. I still hadn't eaten and then the phone calls and emails started coming in. There is finally movement with regard to funding and C's supports and getting this all sorted with his new provider and of course it all needs to be organized and carefully orchestrated and although I TRIED to stay out of it, in the end, there were just pieces I had to take care of if I didn't want to have to deal with a bigger fall out later. So I just kept breathing and made the calls and sent off emails all the while redirecting C. Thankfully his amazing support worker was due at 10 so that helped immensely.
Then I got a call I needed to have some papers in for funding reimbursement and oh did I mention that we are in the midst of a postal worker lock out?? So I can't mail the forms and the office isn't local and the only other option is fax. I asked if I could scan and send an electronic PDF (much more appropriate for the year 2011) but was told no. So I had to have A come home at lunch to get the forms to fax from work for me, which was ok because he had also forgotten the lunch that I had made him at the expense of having my shower.
I then discovered that the problem with my shoe was that I had let C wear them (please note - they are a man's sandal I bought cause they fit my wide feet wonderfully) because he grew YET AGAIN and did not have sandals at the time. Of course he didn't tell me he ripped the strap right out of the sole. sigh.
Then I tried to sort out pharmacy woes. Well really it is not the pharmacies issue AT ALL. They are awesome. It's all because the boys are going to camp and the restrictions on meds like Concerta and the fact that we couldn't order more til today (oh reminder to go to pharmacy) and C's meds are not all on the same schedule because of various med changes over the past year so its a nightmare right now that just haven't had time to sort. Add to that I have misplaced a prescription for a different med. ahhhhhhhhhh!
Then I went to get J at school at the end of the day, still not having had a chance to shower and while there a bird shit on me!!!!!!
The evening was slightly better
Then this morning I was supposed to head out of town for a meeting. I got up on time, I showered, I had everyone ready and out the door. Went to leave and .. . . .
I have no house key
I messed up - left it for someone last week that stayed with my kid. That person took it with them and I did remember to ask for it back for forgot to follow up.
I can't leave my door unlocked of course and to have A come home would have taken to long as I have JUST enough time to get to this meeting IF I leave right when the kids leave for school.
So silver lining to all of this - I don't have to spend 4 hours in the car today and everyone thinks I am out of town at a meeting so I should be able to get lots of things accomplished.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
My Amazing Man
Part of my commitment to myself and to my family is to do better taking care of myself. I feel weird just even typing that as I used to always roll my eyes when people would say that "But hon, you have to do things to take care of you!" and I would smile politely and say "I know, I know" and then walk away rolling my eyes saying "As if . . . ".
But if I learned anything last year - it's that I absolutely must find ways to take care of myself. So today I had an appointment and while I was there I shut my phone off. Yup, shut it off. Because, really, I NEEDED that therapy appointment and even if the phone rang, what would I do?? Walk out of an exceptionally expensive and important appointment to race accross town to do what exactly?? And truth be told I haven't had a call from the school (other than for legitimate illness) in a very long time.
I guess we were overdue.
At the end of my appointment I looked at my phone. 2 missed calls. From the school. Funny thing was though, I didn't panic. My stomach didn't bottom out. I thought to myself " I sure hope they called A". A further look at my phone told me that they had and he had messaged me to say that he knew I was at my appointment (have to LOVE that synchronized Outlook calendar on our Blackberry's) and he was heading to the school.
All this began occurring at 9:30. By the time I got home at 10:30 C was settled at home with a worker and A was on his way back to work. Everyone was calm. C had balked at doing class work (probably partly the work, partly the heat and partly the anticipation of a HUGE purchase that he made for himself that was due to be delivered today - more on that later). Anyhow, instead of blowing up in class he removed himself to the washroom. The call from the school was in case he blew completely. Instead he managed to pull himself together and get back to class for a few minutes before A even got home.
On my drive home though I admit I worried how A would react. Would he be frustrated or even angry at the wasted drive home in the middle of his work day? Instead I heard how he discussed it calmly with our boy and made sure to congratulate him on his ability to work it through and go back to class.
He's amazing that man of mine.
But if I learned anything last year - it's that I absolutely must find ways to take care of myself. So today I had an appointment and while I was there I shut my phone off. Yup, shut it off. Because, really, I NEEDED that therapy appointment and even if the phone rang, what would I do?? Walk out of an exceptionally expensive and important appointment to race accross town to do what exactly?? And truth be told I haven't had a call from the school (other than for legitimate illness) in a very long time.
I guess we were overdue.
At the end of my appointment I looked at my phone. 2 missed calls. From the school. Funny thing was though, I didn't panic. My stomach didn't bottom out. I thought to myself " I sure hope they called A". A further look at my phone told me that they had and he had messaged me to say that he knew I was at my appointment (have to LOVE that synchronized Outlook calendar on our Blackberry's) and he was heading to the school.
All this began occurring at 9:30. By the time I got home at 10:30 C was settled at home with a worker and A was on his way back to work. Everyone was calm. C had balked at doing class work (probably partly the work, partly the heat and partly the anticipation of a HUGE purchase that he made for himself that was due to be delivered today - more on that later). Anyhow, instead of blowing up in class he removed himself to the washroom. The call from the school was in case he blew completely. Instead he managed to pull himself together and get back to class for a few minutes before A even got home.
On my drive home though I admit I worried how A would react. Would he be frustrated or even angry at the wasted drive home in the middle of his work day? Instead I heard how he discussed it calmly with our boy and made sure to congratulate him on his ability to work it through and go back to class.
He's amazing that man of mine.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Uncondtional
There has been so much happening and I will be getting back on here more because in the end it is important to me and I enjoy writing and having a journal to look back on. I'd also like to think that even if my words and/or experiences connect with even one other person that is an amazing thing.
Before I get bogged down with everyday life and trying to catch up on this poor neglected blog - I wanted to share something with you.
We had a meeting today with C's new service/support provider and CPRI to begin this transition process. There were 8 people around the table. We all sat down and settled in and then there was silence - I looked around and realized they were all looking at me. It was a little overwhelming for a moment as the meaning of this sunk in - this was truly my meeting on behalf of my son and our family. TRULY our meeting in every sense of the word and to start off they were respecting my role by allowing me to run the meeting.
I don't think I had ever realized that this had never happened before. I had been involved in some meetings more than others depending on the circumstances and I would never had thought that everyone sitting back and waiting for the parent to begin would be that powerful. It is. Once I caught my breath I told them what I was thinking and there were these pained looks on every face - they all felt that it was a shame I had not experienced this before. We quickly moved on and I set the stage for what I wanted to achieve through this meeting.
Things progressed and people talked and shared and strategized. Then I felt tears coming to my eyes as I came to another realization.
This was the first time I was in a room surrounded by people who had supported my son in the past as well as people who would continue to support him in the future and every single person was there in a positive supportive role. Not a single person was frustrated with me, angry with me, intimidated by me. Not a single person had come in with an agenda of their own. Not a single person felt they knew my son better or felt that if they could just get me to understand that their way was better than mine. Not a single person felt that isolation, punishment and being harsh was the way to go with our son.
The room was filled with intelligent, articulate, skilled individuals who wanted to support our family in positive ways. They acknowledged my key role as his mother and only wanted to truly support our family in whatever way we see fit - not try to make us fit into a mould they had already poured.
Unconditional respect and acceptance for our family and our son.
Hunh, so that's what that feels like.
Before I get bogged down with everyday life and trying to catch up on this poor neglected blog - I wanted to share something with you.
We had a meeting today with C's new service/support provider and CPRI to begin this transition process. There were 8 people around the table. We all sat down and settled in and then there was silence - I looked around and realized they were all looking at me. It was a little overwhelming for a moment as the meaning of this sunk in - this was truly my meeting on behalf of my son and our family. TRULY our meeting in every sense of the word and to start off they were respecting my role by allowing me to run the meeting.
I don't think I had ever realized that this had never happened before. I had been involved in some meetings more than others depending on the circumstances and I would never had thought that everyone sitting back and waiting for the parent to begin would be that powerful. It is. Once I caught my breath I told them what I was thinking and there were these pained looks on every face - they all felt that it was a shame I had not experienced this before. We quickly moved on and I set the stage for what I wanted to achieve through this meeting.
Things progressed and people talked and shared and strategized. Then I felt tears coming to my eyes as I came to another realization.
This was the first time I was in a room surrounded by people who had supported my son in the past as well as people who would continue to support him in the future and every single person was there in a positive supportive role. Not a single person was frustrated with me, angry with me, intimidated by me. Not a single person had come in with an agenda of their own. Not a single person felt they knew my son better or felt that if they could just get me to understand that their way was better than mine. Not a single person felt that isolation, punishment and being harsh was the way to go with our son.
The room was filled with intelligent, articulate, skilled individuals who wanted to support our family in positive ways. They acknowledged my key role as his mother and only wanted to truly support our family in whatever way we see fit - not try to make us fit into a mould they had already poured.
Unconditional respect and acceptance for our family and our son.
Hunh, so that's what that feels like.
Monday, May 30, 2011
A Different Kind of Whine
I've written a few times about CPRI - the treatment centre we go to that is 200km (124miles for my American friends)away from our home.
About a month ago I received an email inviting me to speak "for a short time" at the Volunteer Organization of CPRI (VOCPRI) annual fundraiser. This year they are trying something new - it is called Wine & Design and features interior designer and TV personality Tommy Smythe (Sarah Richardson’s aptly dubbed “design sidekick” in Sarah’s Cottage and Sarah's House - not sure if folks in the US or elsewhere get to see this show).
Anyhow - I had wanted to go to this event but wouldn't have been able to justify the travel and ticket cost (though how I would love to support CPRI even more than we do cause of all they have done for us but it's just not in the cards with me not being able to work). So when I got the request I was ready to say yes to support CPRI, then they threw in the fact that I could bring a guest which was very sweet and very much appreciated.
For someone who spends so much time in careful deliberation of so much of my life, I also have the tendency to act impulsively. I said yes almost immediately.
After I said yes, within 5 minutes I had posted this on Facebook:
really needs to learn to not respond so quickly to emails . . . rash decisions lead to wardrobe worries, stage fright and public discussions about her "puppies" :-)
The "puppies" part was because I had private messaged a friend (a highly stylish and amazing friend who loves to develop fundraisers and then dress up in gorgeous outfits to attend them and happens to be about the same size as I am) about wardrobe concerns and she accidentally posted on my Wall that of course I could "shop in her closet" and she thought she knew the perfect dress that would allow for my ample cleavage (her term was "puppies" LOL).
The event is this Thursday. I have spoken in front of groups before and actually public speaking doesn't usually bother me at all if I am comfortable with the task/topic. Even though I am a very anxious and shy person (I am nervous about any expectations of small talk before & after I speak!!!) I actually don't mind standing up in front of a crowd. To be truthful I would love to give presentations and workshops for a living. However, that's just a dream that I haven't actually shared with many people and I haven't done much to accomplish that dream. I have never done anything quite like this before.
I will have people's undivided attention for 3-5minutes. Doesn't sound long but I know that it is when you are in front of a room full of people. All the fundraiser people have asked me is to speak a little about our family and the services we have received, they are also wanting to raise general awareness about Children's Mental Health. I find it ironic that I have spent the last 9 years trying desperately (and often in vain) to get people to listen to me. Now I'm being asked to speak and given an open opportunity to focus it in anyway I choose.
It feels like a daunting task.
I want to make people really listen. I'd like to give them a glimpse into what it is like to live day in and day out with the struggles that families who travel to CPRI have to. I would like to challenge people to think a little harder about what they can do to help - whether it be to not be so quick to judge, to volunteer themselves in some way or (as is the point of the evening) to open their wallets and give generously.
I have 4 days (3 sleeps) to get something on paper. Tomorrow and Thursday I have to travel to CPRI for appointments. I still don't know what I am wearing and since I only own like 2 pair of shoes I think it's likely I will need to do some shopping. Basically today and Wednesday I have to pull this all together. Oh and our fabulous Home Support Worker is at training today and tomorrow and she comes in late Wednesday to be able to cover the evening for us.
I am open to any suggestions on what to say, what not to say and take a look at the event flyer and tell me what you think I should wear. The last time I went to a fundraiser was like, well, NEVER.
About a month ago I received an email inviting me to speak "for a short time" at the Volunteer Organization of CPRI (VOCPRI) annual fundraiser. This year they are trying something new - it is called Wine & Design and features interior designer and TV personality Tommy Smythe (Sarah Richardson’s aptly dubbed “design sidekick” in Sarah’s Cottage and Sarah's House - not sure if folks in the US or elsewhere get to see this show).
Anyhow - I had wanted to go to this event but wouldn't have been able to justify the travel and ticket cost (though how I would love to support CPRI even more than we do cause of all they have done for us but it's just not in the cards with me not being able to work). So when I got the request I was ready to say yes to support CPRI, then they threw in the fact that I could bring a guest which was very sweet and very much appreciated.
For someone who spends so much time in careful deliberation of so much of my life, I also have the tendency to act impulsively. I said yes almost immediately.
After I said yes, within 5 minutes I had posted this on Facebook:
really needs to learn to not respond so quickly to emails . . . rash decisions lead to wardrobe worries, stage fright and public discussions about her "puppies" :-)
The "puppies" part was because I had private messaged a friend (a highly stylish and amazing friend who loves to develop fundraisers and then dress up in gorgeous outfits to attend them and happens to be about the same size as I am) about wardrobe concerns and she accidentally posted on my Wall that of course I could "shop in her closet" and she thought she knew the perfect dress that would allow for my ample cleavage (her term was "puppies" LOL).
The event is this Thursday. I have spoken in front of groups before and actually public speaking doesn't usually bother me at all if I am comfortable with the task/topic. Even though I am a very anxious and shy person (I am nervous about any expectations of small talk before & after I speak!!!) I actually don't mind standing up in front of a crowd. To be truthful I would love to give presentations and workshops for a living. However, that's just a dream that I haven't actually shared with many people and I haven't done much to accomplish that dream. I have never done anything quite like this before.
I will have people's undivided attention for 3-5minutes. Doesn't sound long but I know that it is when you are in front of a room full of people. All the fundraiser people have asked me is to speak a little about our family and the services we have received, they are also wanting to raise general awareness about Children's Mental Health. I find it ironic that I have spent the last 9 years trying desperately (and often in vain) to get people to listen to me. Now I'm being asked to speak and given an open opportunity to focus it in anyway I choose.
It feels like a daunting task.
I want to make people really listen. I'd like to give them a glimpse into what it is like to live day in and day out with the struggles that families who travel to CPRI have to. I would like to challenge people to think a little harder about what they can do to help - whether it be to not be so quick to judge, to volunteer themselves in some way or (as is the point of the evening) to open their wallets and give generously.
I have 4 days (3 sleeps) to get something on paper. Tomorrow and Thursday I have to travel to CPRI for appointments. I still don't know what I am wearing and since I only own like 2 pair of shoes I think it's likely I will need to do some shopping. Basically today and Wednesday I have to pull this all together. Oh and our fabulous Home Support Worker is at training today and tomorrow and she comes in late Wednesday to be able to cover the evening for us.
I am open to any suggestions on what to say, what not to say and take a look at the event flyer and tell me what you think I should wear. The last time I went to a fundraiser was like, well, NEVER.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Unlike Last Month . . .
. . . I managed to get my post up on time at Hopeful Parents. Go on over and check it out.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
To the 16 year old me
I've thought about doing this several times over the years and since I haven't been posting lately (I've been in a dark dark place but dragging myself out now) I thought I would jump back in with a little humour mixed in with my sincerity.
To the 16 year old Me (things I wish I had known Wayyyyyyyy back then)
1. You are NOT fat. I wish you could find a way to feel comfortable in your body and learn how to work your, ahem, assets. They are awesome, you are awesome and you will kick yourself later when you find out the guys you liked actually liked you but were intimidated (see point 2, 3 and 6 for more on this).
2. Wearing clothes 2 sizes too big does not help you hide what you think it does. Work with what you have, flaunt the awesome and at least wear the right size to cover the rest.
3. STOP being so freakin serious all the time!!!! You are young, healthy and the world is your oyster. Reach out to people who try to be your friends, don't shut them out. Party a little bit, make out with more guys. That demeanour that you have when you are shy and nervous - it comes off as being aloof and superior. Work on it, open up and allow yourself to be a little vulnerable.
3. Enjoy being able to sit on any surface in any configuration that you can for as long as you want. Before you know it when you simply sit on a chair your legs and butt will fall asleep and your knees and back will ache. You don't know how good you have it.
4. Your giving nature, your desire to help others - embrace it and run with it. Learn to harness it and use it effectively. Don't let it run wild and run you over and make you question your desire to make the world a better place. Compassion, empathy and understanding are gifts that you have been given. Find a way to celebrate your gifts without losing yourself.
5. You are stronger than you think. The next few years will be rough. so rough. You will make it through and not unscathed but believe it or not these very necessary and painful experiences will help you make it through some extremely difficult times in the future.
6. All those people who seem so self assured and stuck up at school?? Most aren't. Most are just as insecure, if not even more, inside. Some you will get to know later and you will be shocked at how much you have in common. No one feels comfortable going into the school cafeteria alone, some just hide it better. You are all struggling with who you are and who you are going to become (and many who made your life a living hell DO NOT go on to bigger and better things, just sayin).
7. Get contacts NOW. I love you but what were you thinking when you bought those glasses???
8. Stop ducking when someone tries to take you picture. Take lots of pictures of everything you do with your friends. Your memory won't always be what it is today and you will love to reminisce over yearbooks and candid shots. For this to be awesome you will NEED to follow #3!!!
9. You will meet the love of your life and not too far in the future. It will seem like its never going to happen. But it does. Times will be rough at times but he's a good guy and he loves you like no other.
10. When you are 37 years old you will have minor dental surgery. DO NOT try to eat a spicy chicken pizza slice the next day!!!!!
To the 16 year old Me (things I wish I had known Wayyyyyyyy back then)
1. You are NOT fat. I wish you could find a way to feel comfortable in your body and learn how to work your, ahem, assets. They are awesome, you are awesome and you will kick yourself later when you find out the guys you liked actually liked you but were intimidated (see point 2, 3 and 6 for more on this).
2. Wearing clothes 2 sizes too big does not help you hide what you think it does. Work with what you have, flaunt the awesome and at least wear the right size to cover the rest.
3. STOP being so freakin serious all the time!!!! You are young, healthy and the world is your oyster. Reach out to people who try to be your friends, don't shut them out. Party a little bit, make out with more guys. That demeanour that you have when you are shy and nervous - it comes off as being aloof and superior. Work on it, open up and allow yourself to be a little vulnerable.
3. Enjoy being able to sit on any surface in any configuration that you can for as long as you want. Before you know it when you simply sit on a chair your legs and butt will fall asleep and your knees and back will ache. You don't know how good you have it.
4. Your giving nature, your desire to help others - embrace it and run with it. Learn to harness it and use it effectively. Don't let it run wild and run you over and make you question your desire to make the world a better place. Compassion, empathy and understanding are gifts that you have been given. Find a way to celebrate your gifts without losing yourself.
5. You are stronger than you think. The next few years will be rough. so rough. You will make it through and not unscathed but believe it or not these very necessary and painful experiences will help you make it through some extremely difficult times in the future.
6. All those people who seem so self assured and stuck up at school?? Most aren't. Most are just as insecure, if not even more, inside. Some you will get to know later and you will be shocked at how much you have in common. No one feels comfortable going into the school cafeteria alone, some just hide it better. You are all struggling with who you are and who you are going to become (and many who made your life a living hell DO NOT go on to bigger and better things, just sayin).
7. Get contacts NOW. I love you but what were you thinking when you bought those glasses???
8. Stop ducking when someone tries to take you picture. Take lots of pictures of everything you do with your friends. Your memory won't always be what it is today and you will love to reminisce over yearbooks and candid shots. For this to be awesome you will NEED to follow #3!!!
9. You will meet the love of your life and not too far in the future. It will seem like its never going to happen. But it does. Times will be rough at times but he's a good guy and he loves you like no other.
10. When you are 37 years old you will have minor dental surgery. DO NOT try to eat a spicy chicken pizza slice the next day!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)