Friday, November 25, 2011

Injustices and being complicit

I often work hard to make sure I don't waste time on guilt . . . I lump it with regret, a natural human emotion but not very helpful or productive. I prefer to try to be forward thinking, spending my limited resources on finding solutions and making change for the better instead.

With that said, I am overwhelmed with guilt, remorse, regret and deep seeded anguish over what has happened to my son and what is happening to hundreds of other children in my home community at the hands of treatment centres. I hope to be able to make changes and I have removed my son from that environment. A newspaper story about one of the treatment centres in town has brought it all to the forefront today.

I grapple with what I will do. Do I go forward with our own story of the other agency, who from the description of the agency in the paper is doing even WORSE things??? If I do it puts my family at risk in ways I cannot go into on this blog. But I have to do something.

Years ago I bore witness to many injustices to vulnerable people at a place of employment. I took small stands back then but my complicity still haunts me to this day.

I will have to do something moving forward - for all those children whose parents don't know or who don't have parents. I'm just not sure how to proceed at this time.

Monday, November 21, 2011

It's All Too Much

I know I haven't been posting lately, but does the old adage - "no news is good news ring true"?  Yes, No, I'm not really sure.

The boys themselves are doing well. I'd even go so far as to say the are flourishing

Me, not so much.

I'm in a deep dark confusing and often lonely place.

But I am getting help. I am reaching out and trying to let people in. I have sought professional intervention.

I so badly want to write and to pour out my heart and soul but it just isn't meant to be at this moment.

But I'm still here and that counts for a lot right now