Tuesday, August 12, 2008

An Open Apology to Kirk

Dear Kirk

I am sorry that I did not stick up for you more in the first grade
I am sorry that I didn't ask you to come to my house to play
I am sorry that you didn't get to live with a forever family
I am sorry that the kids at school were so horrible to you
I am sorry that they called you "Kirk the Jerk"
I am sorry that I do not remember your last name

If I could have it all to do over
. . . I would have played with you at recess when no one would, EVERY day, not just sometimes
. . . I wouldn't have let go of your hand when we were walking home and other kids were coming
. . . I would have shared my Jos Louis with you on the field trip and sat with you on the bus
. . . I would have been your best friend

I am glad that I kicked those boys HARD with my Cougar boots that day they were bullying you after school. I wish that there wouldn't have been a need for anyone to have to protect you - I wish people could have been nice to you and that grown ups would have made the world a safer place for you.

I think of you often. I feel much shame and sadness for the things that never were and all that should not have been. When I watch my son as he struggles so much to fit in, I often think of you. I will do better by him than what was done for you.

I am sorry and I hope life got better. I hope you found someone to sit with on the bus and who would share their lunch with you.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, it's so heartbreaking to remember how the "special" kids were treated back in the day. I hope and pray that it's better now, but how can we be sure? I owe a lot of apologies to the different kids from my youth. Lovely but sad post.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Gretchen, this post was a long time in the making. One of those ones that rolled around in my head a very long time before I committed it here. It hurts to think about the past but even more so is realizing that so much remains the same.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally have tears streaming down my face right now. I often think of a boy I went to school with - his name was Jeff - same scenario.

    I wanted to be his friend, but was often overcome by peer pressure. I was never mean to him, just afraid to stick up for him more than I did.

    Thank you for such a powerful post.

    ReplyDelete