Celebrating the "lasts"

Many times we celebrate the "firsts" in life (first tooth, first steps, first day of school) and we let the "lasts" slip through our hands and memories. Probably because at that moment we have no idea it will be the last time, there is no memo, no handbook that says "WARNING - LAST TIME HE WILL HOLD YOUR HAND IN PUBLIC"

My youngest, J, is very aware and although he is very affectionate at home he long ago stopped letting me hug and kiss him in front of the school.

Today he came out and was excited to tell me about the play his class is putting on. Like it was the most natural thing in the world he slipped his hand into mine. I realized almost immediately it felt almost foreign. When was the last time I had held his hand?

I almost said something in the heat of the moment. But I quieted myself and tried to enjoy the brief walk home. Wondering at what moment he would realize what he was doing and slip his hand away. We made it to the bottom of the driveway with his hand lovingly in mine.

I willed myself to enjoy every moment, just in case. You never know when it might be a "last"