Thursday, December 08, 2011

Therefore I Share

Mental Illness is nothing to be ashamed of.

It is not the fault of the person dealing with it.

It is hard for all involved. The individual, family, friends .  . .

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of

How many times have I said that in real life, on Facebook, on my blog?

I tell my son this all the time. I tell him that his Bi-Polar and OCD and other illness/disorders are a pesky part of him but they do not define him and they do not make him less of a person. I tell him that he is my hero - having so much on his plate yet getting up each day with a smile on his face. And when it is a bad day (or week) I tell him that's ok too. He's entitled. Eventually he will get up again after we help him fight off the demons that haunt him in his head.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.

Just like people are not ashamed of cancer. People are a lot of things at Cancer - scared, mad, frustrated, devastated, determined to name a few. But people are not ashamed of cancer.

I suffer from depression and anxiety.  It's been mostly under control for many years now but you can read a little about previous times I was struggling here and here and also here.

A few weeks ago it got really bad really fast. It seemed to hit me out of no where. My brave and amazing husband and friends made sure that I got to the hospital. I stayed for 3 weeks. While I was there I was almost successful in hanging myself with a sheet. Yes it was that bad. I was not myself. I was over run with irrational thoughts and overwhelming emotions. I thought the world would be better without me. I thought that my pain, that feeling of deep emptiness, would finally be gone if I was dead. I felt so very very desperate.

I was and still am battling a mental illness. I probably always will in some way.

I share this because I need to not be ashamed. I cannot teach my son and society to accept mental illness if I am ashamed and keep this as a secret. Therefore I share.


  1. Thanks for posting! It is really nothing to be ashamed of. The more we, as society, talk about it, the better. Not talking does not make it go away. Talking helps people realize that they are far from alone and that changes need to be made to make this essential health issue be treated.

    I have been medicated for depression for several years. I used to be silent about it but not anymore. The medication works and I am myself because of it, just like any other illness needing medication to correct the imbalances.

    I am SO thankful you have wonderful support and you got what you needed. It is a process and I know you will find your way back to what is right for you. You have our complete love and support on your journey. I wish I was closer to be there in person but know we are thinking of you. (((hugs!)))

  2. And you are not alone! You are so right - we wear our baldness like a badge of honour, but hide the fact that we too struggle with demons! God bless.

  3. Mental Illness is never to be ashame of I know about seven years ago I had a nervous breakdown and I didn't want to do nothing, I just wanted to stay in bed and it does hurt those who ae connected to you, my family was hurt because I was hurting but thanks be to God I had a mother who prayed for me daily every time I would call her she would pray she would listen she never blamed me even when I blamed myself for it...It took six months but I came out of it and now I have learned to appreciate life a whole lot much better when I tell people my testimony of what I faced and how I felt at times they didn't understand but I learned one thing Life is precious and we don't always know this until it becomes to late but thanks be to God it wasn't too late for me, my faith in God remain although I did not or could not pray for myself my mom prayed and I thank God for her and For Him.

  4. Thanks everyone. I cross posted this one at Hopeful Parents.

  5. allie5:39 PM

    big hugs mom2spiritedboy. I didn't read of this until now as my favourites got deleted somehow. *hugs* I'm so glad you had the support needed and can be alive to heal. allie.