I find it amusing that I can go through REALLY stressful and rough times, particularly when C is in a manic phase and surprisingly I am easily able to keep myself motivated and upbeat through much of it. I can acknowledge that it is stressful, it sucks and that I am eager for it to end BUT I also have no problems seeing the silver linings.
Then there are days like yesterday and today. Yesterday I woke up late since neither mine nor A's alarms went off. In 18 years that has NEVER happened. But we still woke up in time for everyone to get ready for school. Everyone else coped - even our boy with a strong, strong need for routine and structure. Everyone else left the house on time and with a smile. Not me. I dragged. I had missed my shower, I was behind on my own routine and I just couldn't seem to get back on track. I was just about to
On the way to the school I noticed my one sandal was flopping around on my foot. But I didn't have time to stop and inspect. So I continued on, trying not to trip over my own feet. Got C home and had to argue about why I wasn't going to let him watch a movie now that he was home. I still hadn't eaten and then the phone calls and emails started coming in. There is finally movement with regard to funding and C's supports and getting this all sorted with his new provider and of course it all needs to be organized and carefully orchestrated and although I TRIED to stay out of it, in the end, there were just pieces I had to take care of if I didn't want to have to deal with a bigger fall out later. So I just kept breathing and made the calls and sent off emails all the while redirecting C. Thankfully his amazing support worker was due at 10 so that helped immensely.
Then I got a call I needed to have some papers in for funding reimbursement and oh did I mention that we are in the midst of a postal worker lock out?? So I can't mail the forms and the office isn't local and the only other option is fax. I asked if I could scan and send an electronic PDF (much more appropriate for the year 2011) but was told no. So I had to have A come home at lunch to get the forms to fax from work for me, which was ok because he had also forgotten the lunch that I had made him at the expense of having my shower.
I then discovered that the problem with my shoe was that I had let C wear them (please note - they are a man's sandal I bought cause they fit my wide feet wonderfully) because he grew YET AGAIN and did not have sandals at the time. Of course he didn't tell me he ripped the strap right out of the sole. sigh.
Then I tried to sort out pharmacy woes. Well really it is not the pharmacies issue AT ALL. They are awesome. It's all because the boys are going to camp and the restrictions on meds like Concerta and the fact that we couldn't order more til today (oh reminder to go to pharmacy) and C's meds are not all on the same schedule because of various med changes over the past year so its a nightmare right now that just haven't had time to sort. Add to that I have misplaced a prescription for a different med. ahhhhhhhhhh!
Then I went to get J at school at the end of the day, still not having had a chance to shower and while there a bird shit on me!!!!!!
The evening was slightly better
Then this morning I was supposed to head out of town for a meeting. I got up on time, I showered, I had everyone ready and out the door. Went to leave and .. . . .
I have no house key
I messed up - left it for someone last week that stayed with my kid. That person took it with them and I did remember to ask for it back for forgot to follow up.
I can't leave my door unlocked of course and to have A come home would have taken to long as I have JUST enough time to get to this meeting IF I leave right when the kids leave for school.
So silver lining to all of this - I don't have to spend 4 hours in the car today and everyone thinks I am out of town at a meeting so I should be able to get lots of things accomplished.