There has been so much happening and I will be getting back on here more because in the end it is important to me and I enjoy writing and having a journal to look back on. I'd also like to think that even if my words and/or experiences connect with even one other person that is an amazing thing.
Before I get bogged down with everyday life and trying to catch up on this poor neglected blog - I wanted to share something with you.
We had a meeting today with C's new service/support provider and CPRI to begin this transition process. There were 8 people around the table. We all sat down and settled in and then there was silence - I looked around and realized they were all looking at me. It was a little overwhelming for a moment as the meaning of this sunk in - this was truly my meeting on behalf of my son and our family. TRULY our meeting in every sense of the word and to start off they were respecting my role by allowing me to run the meeting.
I don't think I had ever realized that this had never happened before. I had been involved in some meetings more than others depending on the circumstances and I would never had thought that everyone sitting back and waiting for the parent to begin would be that powerful. It is. Once I caught my breath I told them what I was thinking and there were these pained looks on every face - they all felt that it was a shame I had not experienced this before. We quickly moved on and I set the stage for what I wanted to achieve through this meeting.
Things progressed and people talked and shared and strategized. Then I felt tears coming to my eyes as I came to another realization.
This was the first time I was in a room surrounded by people who had supported my son in the past as well as people who would continue to support him in the future and every single person was there in a positive supportive role. Not a single person was frustrated with me, angry with me, intimidated by me. Not a single person had come in with an agenda of their own. Not a single person felt they knew my son better or felt that if they could just get me to understand that their way was better than mine. Not a single person felt that isolation, punishment and being harsh was the way to go with our son.
The room was filled with intelligent, articulate, skilled individuals who wanted to support our family in positive ways. They acknowledged my key role as his mother and only wanted to truly support our family in whatever way we see fit - not try to make us fit into a mould they had already poured.
Unconditional respect and acceptance for our family and our son.
Hunh, so that's what that feels like.