Saturday, March 29, 2008

A Team Player

I spend a great deal of time trying to balance my desire to save and protect my son and trying to let him forge his way in life. It's not an easy task for any parent with any child but with a child with special needs, it can become all consuming. We had a meeting the other day at the school (which I will try to post more about later) and for the most part it was good. I advocated for my son, at times very strongly, and it felt good. What didn't feel so good was the realization that there were a couple of people sitting at that table that really weren't part of our "team". They don't, at least right now, "get" my wonderfully spirited boy and I worry that their demeanour and approach to him will do more damage.

With the one individual, she has little contact with C but could negatively impact his school experience because she is a "professional" from the board office whose philosophy on how to "deal" with my son's behaviour just doesn't match my own or most of the rest of the team either. She's the "expert" though so I am wary and will be on my toes when it comes to her involvement. The other person has recently begun to have direct contact with C every afternoon, which is the time he struggles the most. I believe that she believes wholeheartedly that she knows what she is doing and that what she is doing will prevail in the end. I know my son, I know all the people that have come before her. She will not prevail but in the meantime I worry that my beautiful C will deteriorate and suffer more because of this.

I need to be clear here. My C is struggling in huge ways right now. I know it cannot be easy for the school - it's not easy for anyone, especially C. I do not for a minute believe that these "non team players" are in any way causing the issues we are dealing with. I do believe that they are not helping the situation and in fact, may be making this whole thing a whole lot bigger than it needs to be. The good news in all this is that I have found some peace and comfort in knowing that I have a good overall view of what is going on and I will pull him from school or fight higher up if I need to. I will NOT let anyone punish him for things that are beyond his control right now. My last week of work is next week, if need be I will keep him home. I will not allow him, me or my family to be held hostage. That resolve feels good. I hope it won't come to that.


  1. C is blessed to have such a "spirited" mom on his side. Sounds like you're doing a great job advocating for him.
    Our son has been home this year and we are seeing great results. The school was good; I just felt I could do more at home.

  2. I wish you all the best. So frustrating at times.